Jet

Grim o'clock sounds and it's off on another grand tour! Taxi to Manchester airport is on-time and as I schlepp my gear up to the BA bag-drop I know the staff will tell me to got to 'Outsize Baggage' (ooh-er) as per: fair dos, but the bloke there took glee in telling me that my bike wouldn't fit through the X-Ray doo-dah, so of we trot down to the nether regions to get the thing scanned manually. Funny, it was ok 8 times previously...

Not yet/ever/on my watch it ain't, mate!

It must have been his brother working down there- you know, the one who loves saying no. And hates soap. Anyway, he waited until I was legging-it through security until deciding that the 'Liquid Carry On Rules' (rubbish re-make, none of the original cast, don't  bother) apply to my bike with panniers...thanks a bunch. Goodbye all sorts of stuff that I wanted with me, you berk. Everyone else's gels/creams/shampoo/whatevah is in their checked luggage right next to mine, so what is the difference?

I knew nothing of this until I was boarding, but still you gotta hope for the best and it's out of your control anyway, so dwell on that. I did manage to upset my two fellow paxs when I asked if I could get to my window seat and said "Thank you, Ladies!". It was a man and wife, wasn't it? Quiet flight after that...

Bottom right for The O2!

Connection through T5 was a breeze and all I had to think about was whether the bike had made it 600 yards from one aircraft to another, and whether BA0053 had any London Pride on board. For a short duration, natch...

Still just about the funniest show...sheer class!

The flight was packed as you would expect but the crew made it as bearable as poss/doled-out booze sensibly and the re-vamped BA entertainment system is gold...even has a few of my choices in its 'Essential LPs' vault. Who doesn't love The Everlys?

Anyway, the fun stopped once we landed and BA's super-efficient IT team told me via text that a bag of mine had not been boarded. Deep joy...to be fair, immigration was a breeze but then I had to rationalise about the bike's whereabouts with a human chocolate tea-pot masquerading as a BA rep. F**king Ada!

Bit of wandering around and then I realised that I would not be taking advantage of Dave Winter's annual Good Idea in getting 45 miles done right away, so checked-in to the cheapest motel nearby and crashed-out for a couple of hours, awaiting a phone-call form Team Dynamic.

A sight for tired eyes.

Amazingly they did ring but gave me a vague 20 minutes to get to their vague airport office location: I'll forever be indebted, hah-hah! Anyway, bike and owner reunited...both intact except for the missing items. Still, reason enough to believe and certainly enough to repair to the adjacent Hilton for nice beer, wine, water (yes, water) and chicken avec pommes frites grand. Bon!

Man-ale love is very right obvs, and justified in this case

One step below 'Better Call Saul'!

Listen, in all this self-centred nonsense it is easy to lose track, so please see if you can help the two causes: the links to donate are both to the right and below. A massive thank-you to those who donated recently...you'll never know just how big a gee-up this is. Thank you.

Macca hit gold. Again!

- To donate to Bloodwise, please click HERE THANKS!

- Please click 'ON THIS LOVELY LINK' to support Combat Stress.